I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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