He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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