whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
