how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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