I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
