Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
