who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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