Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
