Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have aggressive nipples.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
