i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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