Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
