It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
