You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
