My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
