thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
