Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
