You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
