Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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