No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
