all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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