So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
