Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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