Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
the liver wants what the liver wants
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
