Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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