She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
