Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
