What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
