you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
