Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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