on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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