Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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