Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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