I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i think i have two assholes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
