Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
