handjob tips. give me some.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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