what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I pour the whiskey from now on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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