We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
