You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
