haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
