Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
