I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
