Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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