Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
