i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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