Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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