where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
