need another drink. this is the easiest way
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
