the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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