I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
