sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His hands were made for my vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
