loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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