I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
